War Damn Eagle

Well hello again LJ

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 16:20:28 GMT

Whew so it's been since June 2007 eh? Looks like I was mighty depressed the last time I wrote... anyway let's do a quick update of my life since then. I did serve as scribe to my fraternity, and actually got elected to a second term (served a total of 2 years). I think half the reason I got re-elected was because no one liked the job (it really wasn't bad though) but it could have been the fact that I was the first scribe in years that didn't cost the chapter money in fines. The guy after I graduated cost the chapter several hundred dollars too, so they really appreciated my work.

That leads me into graduation! Yes I graduated with a bachelor's degree in information technology, and into the worst possible economy. I did eventually (mid-summer) find an unpaid internship where I learned more in 3 months than I did in 3 years at Armstrong... and I absolutely love it. I actually look forward to Monday morning! Now if I can only get someone to actually pay me... Speaking of which, a position did come open with the help desk and I applied for it, but we'll have to see how that goes.

Love-life... well I haven't really dated anyone since Melody (who just got engaged to some guy). I did kinda pull a Humbert Humbert with a friend's daughter, but things kinda ended before anything was able to happen. To be honest, I'm really not trying that hard to find someone right now, I like to treat a girlfriend to dinner and the like, which I can't do very well without a real income. Until I get a paying job, I'm better off being single, which is probably why I'm not really depressed about being single like I used to be.

Sigh @ myspace

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 07:38:56 GMT

Isn't it sad when I get 3-4 friend requests at a time, and (apart from knowing its just spam) I can just look at the picture and know a woman that pretty wouldn't really be interested in me lol... I'm not the best looking guy out there, I'm not huge, but I freely admit I'm overweight. Didn't always used to be that way. Actually 9th grade and before I was fairly thin, and I've just kinda let myself go since then. I could come up with excuses as to why I am the way I am now, but there's no reason to do that. If I'm not happy, then I should simply do something about it. Problem is, I have crap for will power. Sure I can get myself out in the morning and walk for a week or two, maybe a month... then I start making excuses as to why I don't go then I lapse back into doing nothing. I just don't feel modivated, I really don't. I'm just not sure I care, and that worries me. I know a lot of people say that they look for who a person is, not how they look, but I honestly don't think that's the case. I'm just not sure I could get anyone looking the way I do. I really need to find some strong modivation to get out there and do something to get me to look the way I used to. It probably won't change my relationship luck, but it would at least make me feel a little better about myself. lol, man quarter til 4am and I get tired and start writing stuff like this. This part of me doesn't come out often, but its the unspoken thoughts I think about all the time. That's why I like LJ, it lets me express my feelings without having to actually express them. That's 4am logic for you. Anyway, I'm going to pass out night. Night LJ.

Can't do it

Sat, 30 Dec 2006 17:25:32 GMT

So this girl I like, I talked to her boyfriend the other day, just to get to know him. Turns out, he's in the military. Now I have a strong personal honor code, and persuing feelings for someone that is taken already goes against it, but also a man that serves our country? That's too much. I think... I think it would be best of me not to initiate conversatioins with her anymore. I'll still talk to her if she asks how I'm doing and such, but I don't think I can break my sense of honor. My feelings for her won't change, but I just won't be able to act on them. I'd rather be alone than break my honor, and if things continue the way they are, I very well may be alone. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, and I need to harden myself to the possibility. I'll deal with it, I always have, right?

Cars and oaths

Fri, 29 Dec 2006 16:41:50 GMT

I am the lone car on the highway watching all the other cars pass the other direction. Yet I will remain strong. For a man who cannot uphold his oath, is not a man at all.

Instinct

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 05:01:22 GMT

I've been wanting to write this since saturday night, but apparently at some point on sunday our cable line got fried and I have been without internet. Anyway, I was watching this anime and a girl told her boyfriend that she was pregnant and he immeaditly got super protective over her. That made me think, thats a very typical reaction for a guy, but we freqently take it too far. We end up acting like the woman can't do anything for herself, until she gets mad yells at us, then we back off. Then a few months later, when her back is hurting and she honestly needs help with stuff, the guy doesn't seem to be there for her. Why? It's extremely hard for guys to turn on and off instinct. If a guy cuts off his instinctive protective attitude because the woman yelled at him in month 2, then its REALLY hard for him to just turn it back on one day around month 8.

Scribe

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 17:41:36 GMT

So as of last night I am Scribe for Omicron-Iota chapter of Kappa Sigma. I'm going to do a good job, but unfortunatly my handwriting SUCKS so I guess I'll have to come back and type up all the minutes after I take them. I'm also going to go get some encryption stuff if I can find it.

I feel like a stranger walking in a crowd.. that's the kind of mood I'm in at the moment.

Home alone

Sun, 10 Dec 2006 00:59:42 GMT

Well mom went out of town to go spend time with her mother, leaving me to an empty house (except for the dogs). I used to like having the time to myself, but I'm not so sure this time. My raid fell through because Blizzard fucked over the healers/dispellers and now I'm kinda stuck with nothing to do. Everyone is pvp crazed at the moment, but I really don't care for it much. So I got off the game and came to write an entry.

With it being so quiet it gives me time to think, which I guess is my problem.

An update

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 07:33:53 GMT

Goodness an update! Honestly I left here to use the blog on myspace, but I really didn't care for that particular blog, plus it gave me a ton of spam. So I decided to come back to my old LJ home.

I looked over my last few entries and they all seemed to be about Melody... Well things didn't work out with her, and now I rarely even talk to her anymore. I don't have anyone at the moment, and while I do have a prospect, I'm not sure if I'm going to get the chance to do anything about it. I think she likes me, but I don't think she can admit it without admitting to herself that she likes someone other than her boyfriend.

Since writing I also switched my game. I now am a WoW junkie.

Thanksgiving

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 04:38:57 GMT

So I invited Melody to come spend Thanksgiving with me, and actually got mom to let her stay in our guest bedroom. This is actually pretty big since the last time in my life (granted years ago) I asked her if a girl could stay over she just laughed, so I figured it was a lost cause so never asked again.

So then I get an email from Melody saying that she wasn't sure if she could come. Talked to her on the phone a few days later and I asked her why she couldn't. "Lots of reasons." ... "Well what are those reasons?" "I'll tell you later." mehhhhhh

This type of frustration is nothing new in our relationship, but that doesn't make it any easier to cope with.

lovesick

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 05:04:02 GMT

Dah Melody is like a drug, the more I see her the more I want to see her. I gave serious thought to driving up to see her this memorial day, but I only have $190... actually $155, I just bought a full tank of gas (ouch).

Trying to watch the Auburn game made me extremely upset and almost physically ill. I don't want to go into it. Damnit I need my girl.

Something I did not think about

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 18:21:15 GMT

I've always considered myself fairly open minded, and I thought this was especially true when it came to women. I've always believed in the equality of women (though the TRUE equality, meaning women should register for the draft like guys), but today in one of my literature classes we were discussing Tess and a subject came up that made me feel very chauvinistic.

I've always had this thing for female virginity. Guys I don't feel the same way about, I guess its because of the fact that there are no real social ... umm what's the word I'm looking for... reprocussions if a guy runs around sleeping with lots of girls, yet if a girl runs around and does the same thing, she's a slut. Today I realised that my gut feelings that girls should wait to be with the one right guy (not nessicarily in marriage) is actually very chauvinistic. I've never once thought that a guy should wait for a girl, but I've held women to a different standard? The thoght of that didn't make me particularly happy. Here I am saying that I believe in true equality, but I've been holding the two sexes to different standards when it came to sex.

It could be because women go through an actual physical change (loss of hymen) and guys don't. I'm not sure what the root of my thinking was, but I really need to work on it. Really, as a guy, I shouldn't be worrying too much about it and I should just be happy that I'm having sex at all, but then I wouldn't be me. I tend to overanalize things sometimes.

Case and point... if I had 2 children, a boy and a girl, I know exactly how I would handle the topic of pregnancy with the boy. Exactly the same way that my father handled the subject with me. "If you are mature enough to get a girl pregnant, then you obviously think you are mature enough to be on your own." Translated, if I got a girl pregnant, I could kiss any sort of support from my family goodbye, so I damn better well not get a girl pregnant.

However, wouldn't I be morally wrong to do that to my theoretical daughter? The guy could have gotten her pregnant and run off, or worse, what if it was the child of rape or something that the father would absolutely not be a part of the picture (I'm ignoring the whole keep the baby or not, just pretend we keep it for the sake of the arguement), would I then cast my daughter out on the street? See that's holding men and women to different standards.

I need to do some more moral searching on this issue.

Weekend with Melody

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 23:34:07 GMT

I just spent part of the weekend with Melody, and had her asleep in my arms. You know how I was saying with Lindsay that she was a nice girl but she wasn't for me? Well its the total oppisite with Melody. By the same reasoning (of not being able to describe it, just knowing) I just know she's the girl for me.

I am a bit tired though, didn't get too much sleep, but in a good way. hehe

Long time no update

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 04:24:00 GMT

I have to make this short, I need sleep. Not too much has been going on in my life. I'm doing better in school this semester than I have in a while. I've also registered for my classes in the fall. Biology I, Georgia history (required bleh), English literature, and fundamentals of information technology. 13 hours. If I can get my GPA up this semester and get it up in the fall I might try to take an additional class in the spring (as in 12-13 hours+ 1 class).

I need sex.

What a weekend

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 13:59:47 GMT

Originally I was supposed to go up to Atlanta to go see Melody, so last weekend I filled out our time off request form to get this weekend off. Then late in the week Melody told me that she would not actually be going to Atlanta, so I was going to have an enjoyable weekend away from work, all to myself. Then late in the afternoon I find out that work had called me. So I call them to find out what was going on, since I had requested this weekend off. Turns out the manager never saw my request (even though I left it in the MIDDLE of her desk) and had me closing both nights this weekend. Apparently she was just about to mark me down for "no show/no call" which is a week's suspension. I grabbed my stuff and ran off to work. Get there and my form wasn't anywhere in, on, or around the desk. And we talk about today, Sunday, and apparently no matter how we work it, if I don't come in today, they're short-handed. WTF. On top of that, I will get in trouble for being late to work. Why? Because according to their rules, it is my responsability to call in on the day that the schedule is made to find out whether they actually gave me the time off. "The request time off form is just a request, it doesn't mean we're actually going to give you the time off." That's utter crap b/c every time I've ever requested off since I got hired, they gave me the time off.

I guess it's a good thing Melody decided to back out at the last moment. If I had gone to Atlanta, I wouldn't have known they put me on the schedule, they would have suspended me, and I would have called bullshit and quit. Go see Melody = lose my job. lol I'd do it though, I think she'd be worth it.

ARGGGG

Fri, 27 May 2005 08:23:04 GMT

Those of you who don't play FFXI won't understand but Michele, you would... I was @600 to getting DRG49 (PENTA THRUST LEVEL) and the PT disbands!!! and then the server fucks up and noone can search, therefore no hope of getting a new party! @600 to penta thrust!!!!!!!! Arggg.

Liberator

Thu, 26 May 2005 15:58:24 GMT

last couple of times I've gotten the liberator I've posted an article in my journal, but instead of doing that this time I'll just tell you... A federal budget expert has been quoted in saying that the US government misplaced 25 billion (yes a B not a M) dollars. They don't know who spent it, what it was spent on, or anything about it. The second article of interest was this girl got suspended for wearing a t-shirt that was inappropriate and distracting. That itself wasn't that amazing, but the thing she had on her shirt? "Don't drink and drive." hahahah

Hope? bah

Tue, 24 May 2005 17:19:51 GMT

The girl I love is possibly moving closer to go to school. Last time something happened like this I got my hopes up and it hurt when it didn't happen. This time I'm going to expect it not to happen (or something else happen in the mean time) so if it DOES happen I'll be that much happier, without having to worry about being dissappointed if it doesn't. I'm going to have no expectations and just see what happens.

I've had a supremely aggrivating last couple of days in FFXI. I've failed Promyvion-Holla for the 6th time, this time b/c my fucking party didn't want to listen to me about having anima and enough poison potions. All of my plants that I've been growing for the past 2 RL weeks, yielded me crap, fruit and rock salt.

On a good note, I got $678 for my federal income tax refund. I need to go deposit it. Time to go to lunch, see ya.

Meh

Sun, 22 May 2005 12:33:21 GMT

Sometimes I write entries for others to read and sometimes I write entries just for me. This is the latter more than the former.

Dissapointing, but not altogether unexpected. It bothered me before and I don't want it to again, so I'm just going to stop worrying about it. Not like it really matters anyway. I can just take care of it myself.

E3!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 18 May 2005 13:50:19 GMT

The next three days are the holy days of gaming. The Electronic Entertainment Expo, better known as E3, is to gamers what the Sabbath is to Judaism, except like 100 times more important. 3 days of what will be coming to the gaming world. AND IT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

I expect Microsoft to showcase their piece of crap new X-box system, the X-box 360. Why don't I like it? Because it isn't backwards-compatable. All those Halo games that MADE X-box be what it is, will not be playable on the new system until Halo 2.5(?) is out. Gaaaaaay. Anyway I never really liked the X-box too much, the damn controller annoyed me all to hell.

Other than that I really don't know what is going on at E3. I just have to sit here dreaming I was there and wait for the lucky who did get to go to come back and write some sort of report on it. E3 MAN IT'S FRIGGIN E3!!!

The national ID is here....

Thu, 12 May 2005 14:27:15 GMT

Last time I got the liberator I posted an article about the national ID. Today I got another liberator with a follow up story.

National ID is Here; Some States Threaten to Rebel

Last issue we reported on the REAL ID Act, a police-state federal bill that would in
effect turn state drivers licenses into national ID cards, as well as providing
for the use of the cards to collect a national database of information on
citizens.

The bad news: despite protests by hundreds of civil liberties
groups representing millions of American citizens, the Senate passed the bill
unanimously today. (Republican backers of the bill had added it to a must-pass
emergency military spending bill, thus bypassing debate and making it all but
unstoppable.) President Bush, whose spokesmen once said he "does not support a
national ID card," strongly backs the bill and has promised to sign it into law.

The (sort of) good news: many state governments are protesting the
bill. Most of the concern isn’t over the civil liberties nightmare, sadly.
Instead, states are worried that implementing the bill will cost them an
enormous amount of money -- potentially hundreds of millions of dollars -- and
make getting a driver's license extremely difficult for many law-abiding
citizens and a headache for state officials.

Some state governors are threatening to challenge it in court. Some state
governments even say they will disobey the law.

"Governors are looking at all their options. If more
than half of the governors agree we're not going down without a fight on this,
Congress will have to consider changing this unfunded federal mandate," said
Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, vice chairman of the National Governors
Association.

Under the law, residents of states that fail to adopt the
new national ID won't be able to board planes, enter federally protected
buildings, get most jobs, or receive Social Security. (So much for Republican
concerns about unfunded federal mandates, limited federal government, and states
rights.)

Libertarian Congressman Ron Paul (R-TX), the most outspoken
opponent of the national ID in Congress, has described it this
way:

“This REAL ID Act establishes a massive, centrally-coordinated
database of highly personal information about American citizens: at a minimum
their name, date of birth, place of residence, Social Security number, and
physical characteristics. The legislation also grants open-ended authority to
the Secretary of Homeland Security to require biometric information on IDs in
the future. This means your harmless looking driver’s license could contain a
retina scan, fingerprints, DNA information, or radio frequency technology ...
National ID cards will be used to track the law-abiding masses, not
criminals.”

A national ID has come to America, and the primary
opposition is by state lawmakers who are worried that it might cost too much to
implement. It’s a sad day -- and another indication of the desperate need for a
strong libertarian movement in America.

Grew some balls tonight lol

Mon, 09 May 2005 04:16:28 GMT

Well things are officially over between me and Lindsay. I told her she was a great girlfriend but she wasn't the right girl for me. She seemed shocked, which made me feel kinda bad. It might be awkward around work for a while, but I'm going to act normal, be nice to her, but I'm not going to act interested.

Got some stuff to write about finally

Mon, 02 May 2005 10:03:51 GMT

For the second time in my life I'm starting off a journal with the knowledge that this very instant I'm being cheated on. Well if not this very instant, then this weekend I was. Also for the second time, I'm not letting it bother me. Lindsay went up to go spend the weekend with her ex-boyfriend and apparently called her best friend friday night really drunk. When she gets really drunk she gets really horny. It's not hard to imagine what's going on. I swear I hear about people cheating on others all the time, it doesn't seem many people know the meaning of the word faithful. I've never cheated on a girl in my life, and I plan on keeping it that way. Anyway, I really wanted an excuse to break up with the girl, and here it is.

Secondly... OK one thing you need to know about me is that I don't want to be taken seriously most of the time. I want to be silly. Also if you didn't know I work at a grocery store in the deli. Well I always joke about the people down in produce never doing any work. Well I was joking around with this girl I know that just transferred down there, and apparently she completely flipped out. She spent about 30 minutes bitching and complaining to all her co-workers how hard she worked and how much stuff she had to do working in produce, how I was normally such a nice guy and now how I was acting like a complete jerk, etc. So when I go down to that side of the store to get our truck shipment that came in, I got ambushed by the other produce workers complaining about the fact that I said that. Then we eventually laughed it off. Anyway later one of the guys working in produce came by and told me that when I saw her come in next that I should call her "lazy ass." haha she would hate me for all time if I did that.

Last, I keep my phone on all the time in case someoen has an emergency in the middle of the night. Well the other night I got a call at 3 in the morning b/c SOMEONE was proud that they actually had beer instead of their normal drink. I like talking to her, and I am interested that she had beer, but NOT at 3 in the morning. haha.

From the liberator online

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 15:36:20 GMT

OK so if you know anything about me, then you know I'm a libertarian. Or if you didn't know, you do now. Anyway, I subscribe to the liberator online, kind of a newspaper fo libertarians. I saw this article in the latest one and it infuriates me even more to think about the fucking Bush administration...

</x-tab>Senate Ponders Police-State National ID Bill

Get ready for a national ID -- as early as next month.

In February the U.S. House of Representatives voted 261-161 to send H.R.
418, the "REAL ID Act of 2005," to the Senate. All but 8 Republicans supported
the bill; three-quarters of Democrats opposed it.

House Republicans then attached the REAL ID proposal to an
almost-certain-to-pass emergency spending bill for military operations in Iraq
and Afghanistan, thus allowing it to bypass the usual legislative hearings and
debate.

The Senate is expected to pass the bill. And the REAL ID is strongly backed
by the Bush administration.

The REAL ID Act essentially turns state drivers' licenses into national ID
cards, with extraordinary powers. Ominously, the bill gives authority to the
Secretary of Homeland Security to unilaterally add additional information
requirements.

Here are some details:

* The REAL ID Act would establish a vast centrally-coordinated national
database of ID holders and their personal information, including, for starters,
name, date of birth, place of residence, Social Security number, photograph,
physical description and possibly much more. Far more information could be
required at the Secretary of Homeland Security's wish.

* The ID would essentially be an internal passport that would have to be
shown before buying a gun from a dealer, or accessing planes, trains, national
parks, court houses, etc. It will be impossible to function normally in America
without it.

* The national database would be shared with Canada and Mexico. "There are
no limits on what happens to the database of sensitive information on Americans
once it leaves the United States for Canada and Mexico -- or perhaps other
countries," said libertarian Congressman Ron Paul (R-TX), who denounced the bill
in Congress.

* By calling for the use of "common machine-readable technology," the REAL
ID Act paves the way for the federal government to force every state to put
radio-frequency identification (RFID) chips into these ID cards. As Congressman
Ron Paul notes: "This legislation gives authority to the Secretary of Homeland
Security to expand required information on driver's licenses, potentially
including such biometric information as retina scans, finger prints, DNA
information, and even Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) radio tracking
technology. Including such technology as RFID would mean that the federal
government, as well as the governments of Canada and Mexico, would know where
Americans are at all times of the day and night."

The REAL ID bill is more than a civil liberties nightmare. It exposes every
American to terrible accidental or criminal abuse. Even a small percentage of
errors would cause major personal and social disruption. And the IDs would be
irresistible targets for forgers and identity thieves.

The Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF), a major online civil liberties
group, says: "The Senate needs to be reminded that such proposals have always
been rejected for good reason: our privacy and civil liberties are at the core
of what it means to be an American citizen."

Want to learn more -- and maybe do something about it? EFF has created a
site where concerned citizens can get more information and easily send an email
to their senators, expressing their concerns about the REAL ID proposal:

https://secure.eff.org/site/Advocacy?JServSessionIdr001=85n57gc8b1.app13b&page=UserAction&cmd=display&id=119

(Sources: Boston Globe, "Some Fear Law Would Create National ID":

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2005/04/26/some_fear_law_would_crate_national_id_card/

Congressman Ron Paul's speech:

http://www.gunowners.org/op0506.htm

CNET News: "House Backs Major Shift to Electronic IDs":

http://news.com.com/House+approves+electronic+ID+cards/2100-1028_3-5571898.html

Meh

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 17:44:50 GMT

Can't go to one restaurant because I don't like the food, but the other one I want to go to isn't serving. Fast and wait for the second to serve, or take the food I don't like.

Sports entry

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 04:48:16 GMT

I feel like talking sports....

I can't wait for this next season of football to begin. Urban Meyer coming to Florida, Spurrier coming back to the SEC by way of South Carolina (and Auburn getting a crack at them). This really raises the bar of SEC football. I'm already excited. I'm going to be going to another Auburn game this year, and it's looking more and more to be the Georgia Tech game. It's only April and I'm already thinking of the next season haha. I just want to say that I just can't wait for it. I love Auburn football, I LIVE for it. I hope that whomever I get married to can put up with me in this regard, because I will try to make trips to Jordan-Hare as often as I can. I love it.

OK I'm going to bed now.